Life at King's

For so many people with whom I study, King's College London was the dream university. Not for me. For me, it was the choice I thought to be absolutely out of reach. Yet here I am, halfway through my undergraduate degree in film studies.

I have just last week finished my assignments for the first half of my second year. The final countdown to deadlines ended up with an all-nighter (I am not proud of myself I am proud of myself for meeting the deadlines even if it was a struggle). Now I am back to university for semester two. There is a difference to the previous deadline seasons, though; assuming I'll pass my modules - and I think I will, even though my documentary essay was bit of an embarrassment - I am now halfway through my degree. Hurray!

I thought this is a good time to write down some thoughts about my experience this far. About King's College, and London, and about film studies on general: I do realise, that especially for some of my Finnish friends and family members, film studies might be little weird field of study to grasp.

To start from the very beginning though, in high school I was quite sure I wanted to study abroad. I think I had been thinking about that for a long while, and the idea of living abroad had been rooted in my mind since don't-even-know-how-early. I was obsessed with exchange student blogs even before high school, but I couldn't go on an exchange year myself in high school. Next step; I thought I would have an exchange in university. But with little bit of new knowledge, bit by bit I learned that it wouldn't be too complicated to do a whole undergraduate degree in the UK.

The UK was kind of the easy choice, but also the one I was really into. From the languages I speak, English is the only one I was fluent enough in to think about studying in it. It would be amazing to learn Swedish fluently too, but my language level was just too low, so it would have been nerve wrecking in the start (even if I did a degree in English in Sweden/elsewhere in Scandinavia). I loved Scotland, and as an European student I wouldn't have had to pay for my student fees. I visited there with one high school class, we had excursions at different universities and I just loved it. There was something good in the air.

Somerset House is right next to/partly on my campus and fricking pretty in the sunset.

Fast forward, time for the application process to universities in the winter of 2015. I did high school in 3,5 years, meaning I graduated in the winter when most of my year graduated in the spring, so I had already graduated; if I had graduated by the "normal" timeline, I would have had to apply the previous winter in middle of my studies (if you are wondering why I studied longer than I "should have," no I did not fail anything, I just liked performance art modules and did more school than needed because of that). I did my application, I thought a bit more about my choices.

For some reason, in the last minute I decided to turn down the practical filmmaking courses I thought I'd apply for - to be honest, I am not sure what was my thought process on this, but in the end I am very happy with the choice (I should probably write another post exclusively on film studies as this is getting too long otherwise). That left me with one empty spot. Why would I leave one empty spot? I turned to Google and searched for highest ranking universities in film studies. I saw King's College London on the top (I think that year it was the first one), and I had just been in London for a holiday and had really loved it as well, so I just added it to my application for the sake of it.

About week after sending my application in, I get a notification from KCL; they've given me a reply. It was so much faster than I thought it would've been, so I was just very nervous. I saw the message, they had given me an offer. Going deeper and finally seeing the offer itself, I realise it is unconditional. They just took me in like that, it felt to me - I was assuming that I would have needed to have an interview, or that they would at least ask me to do the official language test I had not yet done.

It was a weird feeling, when something I did not even dare to dream about happened. I did not even know much about King's at that point, just that it was highly ranked and I thought it was out of my league. After doing some reasearch, I was more and more blown away; I wasn't even confident enough in myself for necessarily getting to any school, yet I found myself accepted into an internationally well ranking university.

Somerset House and my campus from the other side of Thames.

So that's the story of how I found myself from KCL - but how the actual studying and life has been at King's? To put it shortly, I am very happy with the experience. There are some of things that have started to bug me - like, silly things in the buildings that make places really crowded, but overall, the quality of teaching is superb and I enjoy my time.

ADJUSTING. Adjusting was pretty easy, to be honest. I did cry a couple of times in the very beginning, when I was just very tired and had to get all my heavy bags to my dorm room by myself, and the pillows and duvets were not included in the room, so I had to get them from a huge shopping centre before being able to sleep. And food! I couldn't cook! I needed stuff! I needed to do stuff by myself! But pretty fast things calmed down: I have always been quite independent. I met some people at events in uni, and when the studies properly started, you just get used to the new everyday life. Most of the people you'll study with will be moving away from home for the first time anyway and King's is very international, so everyone is in the same situation, so no need for worries. The dorm on my first year was definitely not my favourite: I like my home to be peaceful, and a huge building of first year students is definitely not that. Finland is nearby, so I don't really get homesick. Of course sometimes I miss friends and family (and my cats!) but it has still been fine, my mum sends pictures of the cats and everyone else can be reached by messages and calls.

STUDYING. So, what do we even do in film studies? Most modules have the same structure: each week, there is a lecture, a screening of one or more films relevant to the subject studied that week, and a seminar with a smaller group, where we discuss the subject and the film. Simple. In addition to the time in class, we have a lot of reading. A lot. It does depend a bit on the teacher, but generally if you want to do all of it, it really takes some determination - quite fast I learned not to feel guilty if I hadn't done all of the reading. Just doing your best, and being active during seminars is enough. The teachers really know their shit and learning has been super interesting. For most parts, our grades are determined by marks from assignments - and that is basically just essay as we are humanists. Deadlines can be soul crushing, but at least I can say that I have done surprisingly well. Each time when I submit my essays, I say to myself "oh gosh this was the first essay I've ever written," but still I have always passed easily. The highest grades, however, are really hard to get but I haven't really been even aiming at them.

FILM STUDIES. But what do we study? No, it is not practical filmmaking like many people think. It is basically study of film - think art history and change the subject. Tadah! We talk about film theories and contexts, history, form and sociological contexts, movements around the world, genres. Philosophy, too - I did myself do philosophy in high school, so it has not been hard for me, but there are people who hadn't and I feel like some kind of crash course in philosophy should be recommended before starting film studies. For example, I just wrote an essay about patriarchy in Greek Weird Wave. Fricking interesting. What will people do who've graduated from film studies do? Variety of different things: there are so many sides in the field of film, that people tend to forget about. Distribution, programming, festivals, education... But what will I do? A very good question, and I have no idea yet. I just want to work with something I am passionate about.

THE PEOPLE. The best thing about my life at King's is the people; it is just wonderful to spend your days with likeminded people, who share the same passion with you. I was worried beforehands, that there would be some snobbish, know-it-all type of people, but 99.9% of the people with whom I study are just super nice and friendly. And it is not just the fellow students, but the academic staff as well. Not only are they super qualified, but they are super nice and helpful. I already miss some of my teachers from the semester I finished before Christmas break.

Anyway, those were some of my thoughts according to the first half of my degree! Is there anything else you would like to hear connecting to my studies?

2018: YEAR OF KINDNESS

Starting off 2017 by being tucked under covers, wearing two layers of clothes, medicated, and still freezing like heck might not make it surprising that this year has not been my best. After being well enough to get tested in couple of days, I found out I had alarmingly high stats, went to the hospital, and got myself straight to the ER. I ended up being there for almost a week, but the origin of my illness was never found.

After that, the year has been pretty much a rollercoaster (and I really do not like rollercoasters). Sleep deprivation after the hospital adventure, stress, stuff happening... I have been sick more often than normally. I have struggled with different things, so much that it feels like a never ending circle. The winter holiday, to be honest, hasn't offered me with too much escape from stress, as the deadlines are evilly looming in the future and time hasn't been my best friend either.

I do have the feeling that now things are starting to calm down, but letting go of stress is never a simple task when your brain is constantly telling you could do better. The last waves are rolling over me and the approaching essay deadlines are never fun, but I am crossing my fingers for a better 2018.

I do not like New Year's resolutions, but the end of the year is always a good point to look back a little. Instead of making resolutions, I tend to pinpoint things I should work on, on a more general scale.

Now the thing I want - and need - to work on is being kinder to myself. Self doubt has come back to me, and I need to let go of it. I will do my best to keep in mind that the nagging voice in my head is not right, and I am good enough. I will look more into self care, to learn loving myself more. Writing down my thoughts helps me, so you will share my parts of my journey on the blog too.

It's okay to not always be okay. I know it, but it's about time to believe it.

Helsinki-Stockholm Cruise

Winter holidays! Jack travelled to Finland with me for pre-Christmas. We had been thinking of going to Tallinn for a day trip during his eight day stay, or maybe staying overnight, but we happened to find a cruise to Stockholm instead; the short cruises are a good way to explore cities, and the atmosphere on the ships is worth experiencing as well - for better or worse. We did have fun, watching children roam around "drunk" from sugar, and adults actually drunk.

Stockholms is a beautiful city, and six hours always ends up seeming too short. You can easily spend it just wandering around Gamla Stan, and that was what we mostly spent our time doing. The small alleys are charming during Christmas time, and there's always another lovely design shop around the corner. It is a shame though, that the weather was not so good - we left snowy Helsinki for a foggy, grey Stockholm. We wanted to go to Södermalm as well, to see views of the city from higher up, but it started to rain and the winter months left us in the dark.

Maybe we need to return to Stockholm in the spring to see a bit more?

Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland

Normally flashy lights and amusement park rides would be about the polar opposite of what I associate with Christmas; but Winter Wonderland is very much what Christmas in London is about. Mulled wine and bands playing songs that everybody will sing along to, so nobody will actually pay attention to the quality of the performance. I was happily surprised that the area never got too clustered and I enjoyed looking around with a hot drink in my hand.

Nonetheless, I am looking forward my traditional, cozy Finnish Christmas more and more. 🎄

REVIEW: The Killing of a Sacred Deer

As The Killing of a Sacred Deer is the third movie I have seen by Yorgos Lanthimos (the other two being his most famous ones, Dogtooth and The Lobster, of course), I did expect weirdness from his newest one as well. Still, The Killing of a Sacred Deer surprised me; the unsettling intensity of the film was very different from the quirkiness of The Lobster or even the disturbing alienation of Dogtooth.

The familiar deadpan humour was there, but I was surprised of how funny couple of tipsy ladies in the cinema found the film; it is a very gruesome story.  Lanthimos favourite Colin Farrell is once again brilliantly stiff in a leading role as a successful cardiologist, and Nicole Kidman is his beautiful doctor wife Anna. Their two children (Raffey Cassidy & Sunny Suljic) are well behaved, they have a beautiful home, but there is emptiness in Steve's (Farrell) way of interacting with people – from his calculating conversations with coworkers to preferences in bed. In addition to his seemingly perfect life he has a curious friendship with a teenage boy called Martin (Barry Keoghan), with whom he frequently meets up at a diner, and gives expensive presents to. And then bad things start to happen.

The rawness in interaction between family members are countered by supernatural storyline, but that does not feel far stretched thanks to steady building up of the tension. Brilliant Lobster-esque classical soundtrack accompanies the film, throwing cacophonic notes at the viewer even at calmer points, ensuring the feeling that something is going to happen.

Lanthimos offers less of horror and thrill; the feeling I repeatedly experienced during the film was shock. Where Dogtooth shocks by breaking of taboos, The Killing of a Sacred Deer draws the emotion from normal family dynamics getting twisted, which made me more involved and emotionally responsive.  

Presence of Martin, outsider from the family, reminds me of Dans la Maison (François Ozon, 2012) - the emotional investment on his inexplicable, mysterious guest puts us in the seat of teacher Germain Germain (Fabrice Luchini). Martin shares ominousness with the teenager in Ozon's film, finding his way "into the house" as well as the head of the protagonist. Notable is also the possibility of sexual tension between a teenage boy and adult man in both works, that is not explored in further detail and so the question lingers over the disturbing events of the film.

Maybe just slightly slow, The Killing of a Sacred Deer is definitely recommended, skillful and thought-provoking thriller.

Dublin // Mini holiday in Ireland 28.10.-1.11.

After Cork, we headed back to Dublin, enjoying it for couple of days. Halloween was spent in Temple Bar, listening to Irish music and drinking Guinness; days spent strolling, seeing couple of museums, Glasnevin Cemetery & botanic gardens.

Little Museum of Dublin was a quirky little gem. Although small indeed, it gave out feeling of Dublin's personality. It felt like there would be endless stories, but the tour was quite short; it was still fun to look around. Seeing the statue of Oscar Wilde was of course a must - who doesn't love Oscar Wilde? There were a lot of interesting and beautiful statues in the parks of Dublin otherwise too.

Next time I'll travel, I'll be heading back to Finland for my winter holiday... Can't wait for proper relaxing and Christmas moods!

Cork // Mini holiday in Ireland 28.10.-1.11.

 

Autumn makes me tired, and I have been busy with my uni work; that's why I haven't posted the pictures of our mini holiday to Ireland earlier like I was supposed to. Prior to the holiday I was very stressed, as we had booked the tickets before I knew our essay deadlines had been made earlier, meaning I had to finish all the essays with less time to work on them; also, our original Airbnb host in Cork cancelled our stay couple of days before travelling, but luckily enough a lovely host had just posted her room for the first time.

After waiting for a while at Dublin airport, we got a bus to south; the drive was quite long, and our bus broke on the way (and quite confusingly, the driver didn't tell anyone first when we parked next to the substitute bus), but at least it was nice to look at the green scenery. For some reason I was photographing less than I normally do, and to be honest, Cork ended up being bit of a disappointment; it was mostly about the timing, though. We were looking for a relaxing weekend in a nice town, and did not realise that there was a jazz festival going on, and of course Halloween made the streets busier than regular as well. Drunken people shouting on the streets quite early in the evening is not exactly relaxing.

What comes to sights, we went to the Cork City Gaol; a beautiful old jail, but it left you little cold. The exhibitions themselves were not too wide, and what was even weirder, a changing exhibition was set up so some of the other displays were hidden (we realised this as some informative boards were floppy and we could have a peek behind them). Audiovisual presentation did not work, and a piece of paper was taped where a piece was removed. Moreover, there were Halloween decorations around, which to be honest were quite embarrassing; for example, a bloody doll in a cell of a woman who had beaten her children.

Before leaving Cork, we went to Blarney Castle. Of course we had to climb the tower, but that turned out to be a silly decision as it turned out to be way scarier for my scared-of-heights-ass than I anticipated; I survived up and down, but I was shaking and felt like throwing up afterwards, even with (obviously) skipping the kissing of the Blarney stone. The estate was lovely to stroll around but whoops - Blarney House was closed for the time being, so there was less to see there too than we would've hoped.