2018: YEAR OF KINDNESS

Starting off 2017 by being tucked under covers, wearing two layers of clothes, medicated, and still freezing like heck might not make it surprising that this year has not been my best. After being well enough to get tested in couple of days, I found out I had alarmingly high stats, went to the hospital, and got myself straight to the ER. I ended up being there for almost a week, but the origin of my illness was never found.

After that, the year has been pretty much a rollercoaster (and I really do not like rollercoasters). Sleep deprivation after the hospital adventure, stress, stuff happening... I have been sick more often than normally. I have struggled with different things, so much that it feels like a never ending circle. The winter holiday, to be honest, hasn't offered me with too much escape from stress, as the deadlines are evilly looming in the future and time hasn't been my best friend either.

I do have the feeling that now things are starting to calm down, but letting go of stress is never a simple task when your brain is constantly telling you could do better. The last waves are rolling over me and the approaching essay deadlines are never fun, but I am crossing my fingers for a better 2018.

I do not like New Year's resolutions, but the end of the year is always a good point to look back a little. Instead of making resolutions, I tend to pinpoint things I should work on, on a more general scale.

Now the thing I want - and need - to work on is being kinder to myself. Self doubt has come back to me, and I need to let go of it. I will do my best to keep in mind that the nagging voice in my head is not right, and I am good enough. I will look more into self care, to learn loving myself more. Writing down my thoughts helps me, so you will share my parts of my journey on the blog too.

It's okay to not always be okay. I know it, but it's about time to believe it.

Helsinki-Stockholm Cruise

Winter holidays! Jack travelled to Finland with me for pre-Christmas. We had been thinking of going to Tallinn for a day trip during his eight day stay, or maybe staying overnight, but we happened to find a cruise to Stockholm instead; the short cruises are a good way to explore cities, and the atmosphere on the ships is worth experiencing as well - for better or worse. We did have fun, watching children roam around "drunk" from sugar, and adults actually drunk.

Stockholms is a beautiful city, and six hours always ends up seeming too short. You can easily spend it just wandering around Gamla Stan, and that was what we mostly spent our time doing. The small alleys are charming during Christmas time, and there's always another lovely design shop around the corner. It is a shame though, that the weather was not so good - we left snowy Helsinki for a foggy, grey Stockholm. We wanted to go to Södermalm as well, to see views of the city from higher up, but it started to rain and the winter months left us in the dark.

Maybe we need to return to Stockholm in the spring to see a bit more?

Hyde Park's Winter Wonderland

Normally flashy lights and amusement park rides would be about the polar opposite of what I associate with Christmas; but Winter Wonderland is very much what Christmas in London is about. Mulled wine and bands playing songs that everybody will sing along to, so nobody will actually pay attention to the quality of the performance. I was happily surprised that the area never got too clustered and I enjoyed looking around with a hot drink in my hand.

Nonetheless, I am looking forward my traditional, cozy Finnish Christmas more and more. 🎄